When I was 9 & 10 I kept a journal. It had four parts: Feelings, Spy Info, Anything and Poetry.

Feelings was the journal section of it. Spy Info was for really important stuff like disciphering secret codes and recording invaluable details about the people around me. I had just read “Harriet the Spy” in school. Anything was…nothing. One page had the first draft of a love song on it (a LOVE song…I should mention here that I didn’t have my first “boyfriend” until my senior year of highschool - gah). And the Poetry section was pretty self explanatory.

Anyway, I’m really glad to have that old, beat-up spiral notebook now because reading through the journal entries remind s me of what a huge deal everything is when you’re a kid. Drama, Drama, Drama. It’s hard to be a kid. Particularly a girl, I think.

My best friend, C, spent last night with me and she’s still here. But we got in another argument. I think I have the right of it all.

It’s not fair the way she picks on me and throws around my [stuffed] animals just because I believe they’re real. I don’t think she’s my bestest friend anymore.

She’s also mean to my hampster just because I correct her by saying she’s a girl. Then C throws in an “it doesn’t matter,” which is a lie as far as I’m concerned.

This is why I like being alone better than having a friend over or going over to anyone’s house.

Unless it’s Kerri, I guess.

One of the things I really appreciate about adulthood is the lack of drama. I know there are still those out there who thrive on conflict, but in general it’s pretty easy to avoid them. I have surrounded myself with low-maintenance friends and people who appreciate me, and I really feel now that I have that “handle” on life that I never felt I had as a child. Maybe that’s just security. Confidence. The knowledge that you can’t please everybody and that doesn’t affect who you are. That life is so much BIGGER than the little issues people fight about.

Oh, I guess I should mention that though I rarely see C anymore, she and I are still good friends. We’ve both done a lot of growing up

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 13th, 2006 at 8:21 pm and is filed under Confessions, Memories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.