Dear Everybody,
I am a very methodical person, sometimes excessively so. Which is why, when I have three tasks to complete in a day, I end the day having finished none of them. Because I’ve spent a significant amount of my day contemplating the most efficient way to go about each task so that I can synchronize its accomplishment with each other task. Obviously, I’m having to rethink my approach.
But basically, once I get around to doing something, I have figured out the most efficient, effective and beneficial way to do it, thus ensuring that not only am I doing it the right way, I am doing it the rightest way.
Which means, by default, that if you are doing said task a different way, that you are unavoidably doing it the wrong way. Don’t be offended, just go with it.
That said, I would like to offer the following assistance:
- Electrical outlet covers are not symmetrical. It is possible to put them in upside-down, which is inadvisable. Upside-down outlet covers do not completely cover the outlet. In addition, they are easier to pry out of position by little curious fingers. And they look stupid.
- It is possible (and recommended) to affix a DHL label to the monthly shipment boxes so that only one edge-fold is required. Applying labels in this manner is faster and easier, as well as more helpful to the DHL guy who has to scan them. Folding labels over two perpendicular edges, and subsequently having to mash down the excess label paper into a wrinkled lump at the bottom corner is inefficient, time consuming and unnecessary. And it looks stupid.
- Formula bottles come with a seal-cutter in the cap. It is a good idea to use said seal-cutter to open the bottle, as it CUTS the SEAL, thereby allowing it to be cleanly removed from the bottle. Punching in the seal with your knuckle and leaving the partially-attached seal hanging inside the opening of the bottle makes the formula pour out of the bottle in all directions - sometimes missing the destination container completely. It is not a pleasant surprise to the unsuspecting bottle preparer. And it looks stupid.
- Tailing me and then buzzing around in a huff doesn’t actually help you get to your destination any faster. You still have to wait at the red light like everybody else. You just get to wait there longer. And you look stupid.
Thank you for joining me for another edition of unsolicited helpful advice. See, I told you I could make your life better.
