Junior Shoplifter Extraordinaire and other Random Bullets

  • We went gift shopping this morning and about 10 seconds after we left the store I looked down to find that Button, while in her stroller, had managed to apply the 5-finger-discount to a pack of AA batteries. The sad part is, while we were returning the batteries to the store owner I was thinking, “I could have used those batteries.”
  • I need a new camera. I need a new camera that won’t freeze at the most inconvenient moments, forcing me to forgo the photos completely to take the batteries out and reboot it. I need a camera that will take a friggin’ picture when I tell it to, rather than politely declining my request with the suggestion that we discuss it over coffee. And I need a camera that has SOME SEMBLANCE OF A CLUE about white balance and color accuracy. I need this camera.
  • Unfortunately, one of the downsides about working part time is the complete and total lack of savable monies for things like Christmas presents and aforementioned camera necessities.
  • Perhaps I should just send my daughter into the camera store and see what she comes out with.
  • Button woke up from her nap today exceedingly displeased. As soon as I entered her room, I could see smell why. During her lunch, she had consumed 3 drink boxes of juice and a hearty amount of food - all of which had made its way through her during the nap. The clothes, the sheets, the changing table cover - all of it went straight into the wash.

    J:    You should probably put some bleach in there too to kill any of the germs.
    Me: I used Spray’N'Wash.
    J:    I doubt Spray’N'Wash kills germs.
    Me: Are you kidding? Have you ever smelled Spray’N'Wash?
    J:    …Good point. That stuff could probably kill a small animal.

2 Responses to “Junior Shoplifter Extraordinaire and other Random Bullets”

  1. Imperfect Christian Says:

    This happened to my daughter and I made the mistake of taking a picture of it to send to her dad at work so he could see what she was up to. Now the pictures have been admitted as evidence in my son’s custody case that I’m a neglectful mother and I “LOCKED” my daughter in her dirty crib.

    I guess snapping the picture, giving her a bath, feeding her breakfast, playing with her, working on her therapies and then feeding her lunch and putting her to bed for her afternoon nap before I sat down to upload and email them is considered neglectful in some people’s eyes.

  2. Jennifer Says:

    This one made me laugh just for the randomness, and not-so-randomness of it all. Sometimes the 5-finger discounts that kids pull off are really pretty well thought out - batteries definitely come in handy this time of the year. Oh, and, still, I’d bleach the HELL outta that stuff!

    Thanks for the giggles, and I hope Santa brings you that camera!