It’s the Aliens
Lately there have been far too many USO’s laying around our house.
Little black flecks of what seems like …hard plastic? Somewhat reminiscent of when the dog chews something up…except that I can’t, for the life of me, find what it was that has been destroyed, and all the flecks are the same tiny size (not characteristic of a chew-up). See, he never actually eats anything he chews up, so we always find it on the floor in 5 kazillion pieces, but with a large chunk of it still intact.
And in addition to being scattered about the living room floor, the black flecks are in rooms where the dog hasn’t been.
Apparently, The Aliens haven’t been cleaning their shoes before they traipse through our house.
And then there’s the paint flecks. Little Button keeps bringing me these little pieces of what I can only describe as dried iridescent purple nail polish. No idea where she’s getting them from. Little random bits that seem to have been torn off something I don’t recognize in the slightest. I don’t even own nail polish. When they get wet, they get kind of sticky and really pliable.
Obviously the exterior of The Aliens’ space craft needs a new paint job.
So I vacuumed the living room to get rid of all the mysterious “flecks.” I’ve been wanting new carpet for a while now because the carpet that we have was put in when the house was built and it’s pretty mashed down and dirty and has several stained spots. So after I vacuumed, I looked at my floor. And I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I pulled out “The Beast,” our massive clunky carpet shampooer, and went to work. I cleared all the furniture, shampooed and rinsed. 3 hours and 15 gallons of nasty, brown water later, I had a much nicer looking floor that was no longer mashed down (at least, not nearly as much) and a really tired arm. That thing is hella-heavy and there is nothing built into it to assist you in dragging it back and forth across the carpet.
Afterward, the carpet was quite wet. And try as I might, I could not get it into Little Button’s head that it was not a good idea to go running across the wet carpet and onto the oh-so-slippery tile, particularly by the fireplace which for some reason was THE PLACE TO BE during that timeframe.
Unfortunately, our living room is constructed in such a way that it simply isn’t possible to blockade her out of it. As a result, she took many, many spills and I eventually had to strap her into her highchair for her own safety. She was none to please about the former, nor the latter.
She hates falling - even if it doesn’t hurt her, it makes her angry to have her groove interrupted so rudely. Her legs go out from under her in two different directions and when she lands on her butt she looks at me like Did you do that? Because I had everything under control. What just happened???
“It’s The Aliens, honey.”
