There’s a certain brand of bath crayons sold by a certain children’s superstore that may or may not rhyme with “Rabies-R-Bus.”

Evidently this crayon manufacturer believes terms such as “washable” and “water soluble” are open to interpretation.

Interpretation such as “permanent,” or “will stain your tub irreversibly and then go forward in time to stain your children’s tubs and their children’s tubs, you gullible fool, what were you thinking when you handed your child a stick made of wax and DYE?”

Even Clorox Radioactive Nuclear Waste Clean-Up* has met its match. I’m not sure what’s worse…my purple tub or having my hands smell like bleach for a week.

I believe I have finally gotten rid of all the stains. The key is just to fill the tub with Clorox and let it sit there for an entire day. But now I’m a little afraid that putting my child back into the tub tomorrow will be comparable to bathing her in uranium.

If she suddenly starts sprouting a 3rd eye, we’ll know it was the Clorox.

* By the way, the Clorox Clean-Up label now boasts that it “Kills the Flu Virus!”   Ya think? That stuff could kill a rainforest, but they don’t put THAT on the label. Ah, marketing…

This entry was posted on Monday, April 16th, 2007 at 10:18 am and is filed under Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.