Letters From Our Outbound Journey
Dear Guy In Front of Me on the Plane Who My Daughter Affectionately Dubbed “Bee-bo Head,”
Apparently your cowlick reminds her of a belly button, and as we all know, belly buttons have no other purpose than to be poked. Repeatedly.Thank you for being a hard sleeper.
Sincerely,
I swear I didn’t know she was going to do that.
Dear Man in the Airport Who Tripped Over My Daughter,
The short people in the world request that you refrain from walking backwards through a crowded building without watching where you are going. Thank you.
Sincerely,
She’s fine. But what were you thinking?
Dear Everybody on the Plane Who Sat Up and Turned Around to Stare When My Daughter Screamed Bloody Murder From the Back of the Plane,
We didn’t drop her. It’s 2 hours past her bedtime and J was trying to give me a break with the “standing up and holding her” shift. Obviously it didn’t go over very well.
Sincerely,
That Parent. The one wishing she could melt into the floor right now.
Dear Old Woman on the Plane Who Kept Distracting My Child From Her Tantrum by Making Faces and Telling Her She Was Too Sweet to be Making That Kind of a Fuss,
Bless you.
Sincerely,
This Close to a Nervous Breakdown
April 24th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Dear dear Amy,
Thank you for making me laugh….again.
You should totally be a editorial/lifetime/humour columnist/contributor for This American Life or something.
That’s what it is! You remind me of Sarah Vowell.
Take care.
April 24th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
I love it. God bless all the patient old ladies out there, they’ve saved me on many public outings.
April 24th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Oh, god … we’re flying cross-country at the end of May, at which point the Hatchling will be 13 months. We haven’t flown with her since she was young enough to sleep most of the flight, and I am NOT. PREPARED. for flying with a toddler. Please god let there be a nice old lady on our flight!
April 27th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Great letters! Traveling with kids - my son is almost 4 and we still avoid it!