I got off work early today. I had plans to use the time by going to the gym. Instead, I sat on the couch with the electric fly swatter, waiting for that stupid evasive fly to show up again.

Don’t ever invite me to a party. I might just bring too much excitement for you to handle.

*** (insert change of subject) ***

I’m in limbo right now and I hate it. I don’t do well in limbo. I stress, I obsess, I depress.

Er, I get depressed.

I would have just said that the first time, but it didn’t rhyme. And obviously, I would rather sound like an idiot than forsake an easy rhyming opportunity.

My job is up in the air. My boss might sell the company, he might not. If he sells it, there are 1,500 ways things could turn out for me. If he doesn’t sell it, there are basically two options: We do something new! and fun! and exciting! with the company, or… I lose my job. But either way, nothing is happening right now and there’s no definite time frame for anything. And sitting around waiting for something to happen is driving me crazy.

My house is up in the air. It’s on the market but nobody’s biting because IT WON’T STOP RAINING. The whole DFW housing market is at a standstill right now because the buyers aren’t out looking. Not good. Sitting around here waiting for something to happen is driving me crazy. Oh, did I mention that already?

But then there’s the problem of what if we sell the house earlier than expected? Where will we live? Our new house won’t be built until November, and now it’s looking like December with the rain delays. We can stay with my parents for a few weeks, but probably not 5 months. And what do we do with the dog when we ARE staying with them? He doesn’t get on well with their dog. At all.

Impatient person that I am, I started looking at other houses that are currently on the market. My thought was, if we sell too early, then it might be worth it to lose our $500 deposit on the new house in order to buy a used house and move in earlier - so I wanted to see what was out there. Does that sound silly, considering that the only reason we are selling this house in the first place is because we found the new construction?

Yes.  It does.  Remember the part where I don’t do well in limbo.

Anyway, I found a house that I’m really interested in now. It’s bigger and closer and just a little more than we were going to spend on the new house, but it has things that our new construction house doesn’t, like archways instead of square (or no) door frames, which I think would be better for resale. It’s a little older and pretty much the people who owned it had no taste, but it seems like it would be pretty easy to turn it into something great. So now I’m second-guessing our decision to go with a new construction.

And then there’s the matter of Child #2. No, I’m not pregnant. But I’ve just started thinking about it recently. I feel like we SHOULD have another one relatively soon so the two can be close in age. And I think we’re about to miss the bandwagon on “Round #2″ with our peer group.

We sort of accidentally got in on “Round #1,” but now everybody is pregnant again (or adopting) and basically, I’m still having a hard time grasping the whole “I have to be an adult now” concept and so really, it’s just plain easier for me to go through the whole pregnancy/baby thing when I know other people who are in the middle of it too. And one of the main reasons we’re moving in the first place is to ensure that we have enough room for more kid/s.

But there are times when I’m hanging out with LB and I think “this is fun, but if I had another child to deal with at this moment, I would lose my mind.” And then I think about mixing multiple children with work, and trying to find day care and babysitting for two kids instead of just one, or trying to take a toddler and a baby to the grocery store. And I think, “no way.”

I like for things to be planned out all neat and clean-like, and for there to be a solution that feels right, a game-plan for every last possible outcome. Which is difficult when you don’t know every last possible outcome. And, all that planning can be exhausting at times.

I just wish something would HAPPEN already to distract me from myself before I implode.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 5th, 2007 at 4:18 pm and is filed under Daily. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.