So I’m finally taking the time to sit my butt down and figure out how to make a Blogger template.  Specifically, a Blogger template that works with all those silly “widgets” in New Blogger.  I have chosen my guinea pig and hopefully you will soon see something … worth seeing …

In other news, I mentioned that I was trying to get rid of some old scrapbooking supplies.  Well, completely by coincidence, I received an email from a friend who is going on a mission trip to Russia to minister to women and they need … wait for it … SCRAPBOOKING SUPPLIES.  She asked if I had anything I could donate.

HELL YEAH.

I have 14 albums, 7 refill packs, 120 punches, 2 Paper/Stickers Binders with a box full of pocket pages, 2 Paper Takers, 80 large sheets of stickers, and 1,800 sheets of patterned paper that will make their way overseas in a few months.  But more importantly, they will be OUT OF MY HOUSE in a few days, which means my office closet will be de-cluttered just in time to put the house on the market.

Speaking of which, the flooring company comes Monday to install the laminate downstairs, and after that we’re in business.  I know you can’t see me freaking out right now, but suffice it to say that I have chewed off every single fingernail on my hands.

Yeah, baby.

Well, 18 months post-baby, I have finally reached a very exciting milestone:

PRE-PREGNANCY JEANS, BABY!

According to my scale this morning, I have lost a total of 10 pounds and today I am wearing a pair of jeans I have not fit into since early pregnancy.

All those pairs of “big” jeans in my closet can officially KISS MY SMOKIN HOT ASS.

BOOYEAH, WHO’S YOUR DADDY [insert ridiculously uncoordinated Happy Dancy here].

Ok, they’re a little tighter than I like my jeans to be, but the point is that they zipped up all the way and I don’t have a fat roll spilling over the waistband.

* * * * * [Insert Change of Subject] *  *  *  *  *

Do any of you make phone calls using Skype? I enjoy it as a messenger service but don’t have the technology to use it for phone calls. I was just thinking that their rates are WAY more reasonable than our landline, which we rarely use anyway, so if the quality is good I was thinking about using their service for our home phone. Any comments/suggestions/warnings?

I know.  You didn’t know I was gone.  Because I didn’t tell you.  Because I’m busy and negligent like that.

We took a weekend trip to Seattle to see the inlaws and grandparents.  The trip was great fun.  The plane rides were not.  More on that later.

But the best part is that we are childless for the week!  That sounds terrible.  Like we couldn’t wait to get rid of her.  But I will confess to jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store when I finally got out of bed this morning (at 10:30!!!) and realized that my day was entirely at my disposal - MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Little Button is staying with her grandparents for the week and though we will miss her terribly, I think I really did need a break.  She’s been waking up entirely too early and been very MAMA-MAMA-MAMA-MAMA and sort of whiny lately and I HATE The Whiny.  It is beyond my parenting faculties to put up with The Whiny.  There is nothing about parenting that makes me want to walk off the nearest cliff like The Whiny.

I could tell that my temper was shortening by the end of our trip when we couldn’t have a dinner out without her throwing food everywhere and squealing at the top of her lungs, and then throwing a fit when she had to sit in the highchair and then sliding down and getting stuck in the highchair and then having a nervous breakdown because she was stuck in the highchair and we couldn’t get her out fast enough.  There’s only so much I can take and my fuse was cut pretty short.

Tonight we’re going to go this place called a “Theater” and we’re going to watch this thing called a “movie.”  It’s where you sit in these big chairs and watch a huge television that plays something other than Bob the Builder or Veggie Tales.  Did you know they made those?  And they bring you food and drinks (God bless Studio Movie Grill) whenever you want.  And there are no children around.  And you can get in for free with COUPONS which we happen to have a ton of and which expire this month so this will officially be Movie Marathon Week.

Honestly, I don’t know what we did all the time before we had Little Button.  I worked a lot more, and we saw a lot more movies.  But that still doesn’t seem like it would fill all the time.

Anyway, now I’m working on catching up with emails and comments and templates and blog reading.

BECAUSE I CAN…

This past weekend Little Button participated in an Easter Egg Hunt in my parents’ neighborhood.  Yes, I know, but apparently nobody informed the coordinators that the majority of America is currently operating on the 2007 calendar.

I was surprised at how quickly Button picked up the concept.  Find an egg, put it in the basket, go get another one.  Her progress was slowed only by the fact that she refused to use more than two fingers to touch the eggs.

I believe I’ve mentioned my daughter’s phobia of any and all things “dirty.”  Egg hunting was no exception…after all, they had been on the ground for more than 3 seconds.

Most of the egg hunt was complete madness.  There were LOTS of kids there.  And for every kid there were two or more parents, grandparents, siblings and dogs.

And once the coordinators yelled “GO!” the competitive natures of these adults were let loose with reckless abandon.  Kids were being steered, coached and carried to the nearest egg and GO GO GO LET’S GO THERE’S NO TIME FOR OBSERVATION BILLY LEAVE THAT FLOWER ALONE HURRY WHILE THERE ARE STILL EGGS TO BE HAD!  When Billy wasn’t fast enough to get to the eggs around him, he was plucked up and rushed to a patch that had not yet been discovered by the swarm of frenzied kids and parents.

Madness.

But Button was having the time of her life.  She drank in all the chaos around her and adored running around on the lawn.  She pulled in a pretty nice haul, and afterward made short work of the cookies and punch - stopping only briefly to examine her “dirty!” hand.  Such sacrifice.

And while the other kids were frantically delving into their eggs ( and disappointment because said eggs were not filled candy, but with zoo stickers and tiny bubble bottles), Button managed to find a true treasure that captivated her attention - one that was so obviously special that she simply couldn’t fathom how it had been neglected by the other hundreds of kids.

A treasure so unique, so fascinating, that it is no wonder that it overshadowed all the other events and shenanigans and eggs and cookies and giant bunnies and hundreds of screaming, running children.  I mean, what child wouldn’t be awestruck with delight upon coming face to face with none other than…

a flower.

But such is life and the mind of a child.  I hope she is always able to find such joy in the simplest of things.

BC must have some sort of secret “incentive/rewards” program that they do for consultants.  Nobody ever talks about it, but it must be the case.  Or else their order packers are without a doubt the stupidest people on the planet.

Every time I order products from the company, I get things I didn’t order.  Usually it’s just one or two items - they’ll give me two of something I’ve only ordered one of.  But today I got my order in and there were $188 of extra products in there.  The pick ticket was correct as per what I had ordered, and everything I had ordered was in the box - but there was all this extra stuff in the box that I didn’t order.

The last time this happened, I assumed it was a mistake and called an account rep to ask if they wanted me to return the extra products.  She said no.

This time I didn’t call the company.  I don’t believe you can put an extra $188 of products in a box on accident.

I heart BC.