I’m in a mood today.  I have decided that today I am not talking to any more people that make me want to throw things.  They just come out of the woodwork in droves, don’t they?

Ok, here’s the thing:  I have to fire my nanny this week.  This is why I’ve been rather stressed lately.

1. I don’t feel that my daughter is safe and/or getting the care she needs with the nanny.  Every day I go to work wondering if my child is going to have some completely preventable accident that she won’t be able to recover from.
2. I have never had to fire anyone before.  This is going to suck.
3. The nanny is our friend and we will be seeing her and her husband regularly at church.  In addition to the stress of trying to maintain a friendship after telling someone “we don’t trust you with our child,” we feel obligated to keep it under wraps in the circle of friends we share …which is usually our first stop in the search to find a nanny.
4. We have to find a new nanny.
5. This would be our fourth nanny since February.  Our options get slimmer each time.
6. If we can’t find someone, it means I will have to quit my job.
7. I love my job and hate the thought of giving up my future opportunity here.
8. My job brings in over half our income.  Making due without it will be more than difficult.

There are several circumstances surrounding the need to discontinue the nannying relationship.  Several of these - were they isolated incidents - would be easy to ignore, but together they present a situation that I have to act on.  Not doing so would be a severe act of negligence and bad parenting on my part.

1. The fall last Monday.  At first I had made the optimistic conclusion that this could have happened to any of us because we all put the bouncer on the counter.  But when Jens and I tried to reproduce the incident (no, not with Button in the bouncer) in order to make the bouncer capable of falling off the counter, it had to be grossly overhanging from the counter.  This brought us to the conclusion that our nanny must have a) Not checked to be sure that all four corners of the base were on the counter, and b) Either not noticed the overhang, or noticed it and did nothing to correct it.  Either way, that kind of negligence is dangerous.
2. Wednesday, we received a call from our housekeeper, concerned about the nanny’s ability to care properly for our child.  She had expressed her concerns prior to the fall to my brother and SIL, but sworn them to secrecy about it because she didn’t want to interfere.  For some reason, they thought keeping a secret was more important than my child’s well-being and DIDN’T TELL US.  Thanks, guys.
3. The nanny seems incapable of keeping track of her own son and my daughter at the same time.  It may be partially due to his age, but the fact remains that her son is destructive.  I never know what’s going to be broken when I come home.  DVD cases inserted into the VCR, broken candles, broken trash can, cat food thrown all over the floor, etc.
4. Along those lines, our trash can was broken the other day because her son threw it down the stairs while she was changing Button’s diaper and couldn’t get to him.  What if that had been her son falling down the stairs?  Button will be crawling and moving about soon.  If she can’t keep up with ONE mobile child, how could she ever keep up with TWO?
5. There is a degree of preventative common sense that seems to be lacking.  Mostly, it affects her own son, but - like the fall off the counter - if she’s caring for another child, it will inevitably come into play.  For instance,
   • Her son was helping unload the dishwasher because he likes to do the silverware (he’s 18 months old).  Suddenly she realizes he’s not there and goes around the corner to find him sticking a fork in a light socket.  So the new rule is if they’re unloading the dishwasher, he either has to be in the kitchen with her, or out of the kitchen completely.  Why is that a NEW rule?
   • They had to go to the hospital the other day because she allowed her son to eat Wheat Thins while jumping up and down in the Jumperoo and he inhaled part of the chip, which lodged itself into the lung.  So the new rule is no chips while jumping up and down.
   • Yesterday, her son showed up with a gash in his forehead from falling head-first into a table at their house.  This is just my own conjecture, but I cannot imagine how that size of a wound would be possible unless he was running full force in the house.

Look, I know accidents happen.  But there are a lot of them that can be prevented with somewhat reasonable measures.  Button could have been seriously injured by falling on her head from that height.  You can’t just wait until something happens before you take precautions and “make new rules.”

And so, here I stand.  At the end of the day, I’m responsible for her health and well-being and if having a job is jeopardizing that, then I can’t take the risk.  But at the same time, the thought of giving up my job is heartbreaking.  I’m trying to suggest a work-from-home solution to my bosses, because virtually everything I do can be done off-site.  But they’re not too thrilled about the idea.

So it may come down to my child or my job.  If that’s the case, then the decision is already made, but it will be a very painful one.

I didn’t even look this one up on Google because it was simply too ridiculous.

First of all, if Pearlas Sandborn really is an attorney, she is a very stupid one and we should all take a moment to pity anyone hapless enough to be her client.

Second, I work in network marketing. People, NOT EVEN BILL GATES has enough money to distribute in the way this email suggests. Every government economy in the world would have to pitch in to foot that bill.

And further, if Bill Gates did have that impossible amount of money - it’s pretty asinine to think that he would give it to YOU. Nobody is going to pay you to send emails unless you are a spammer and then you deserve to DIE. But you still won’t make that kind of money, even after the devil shows up to claim your soul.

Sheesh.

Well, I unintentionally caused some family strife yesterday. I mean, my decision was fully intentional, I just didn’t mean for it to become a fiasco.

In the midst of all the stress of yesterday, I chose not to tell my parents about Button’s fall until today. My mother has a tendency to freak out about things like that, especially when she is removed from the situation and feels helpless. I knew she wouldn’t get to see Button until today, so I chose to keep her in the dark because I know she would go crazy worrying. I didn’t want her at the doctor or at my house yesterday because Button just needed some quiet downtime to sleep.

Unfortunately, my plan backfired. While we were at the doctor’s my Sis-in-law called the house and the housekeeper answered the phone and told her what was going on. Naturally, she told my brother. Who told my mom.

And yes, she did freak out. To the point where she had to sit down and calm herself before she could pick up the phone. She was hurt beyond belief that I didn’t tell her myself immediately. By the time my dad got the story, Button had cracked her head open and had a concussion and a black eye and had to be life-flighted to Children’s Medical.

My dad called, completely worried, and questioned us about everything - did we check her pupils? Did we look for lumps? Did the doctor see her? He also told us that Mom was totally offended because she thinks we don’t trust her ability to handle the situation.

WELL NO SHIT.

Pardon my French. (By the way, Spell Check doesn’t recognize the word “shit” - I don’t know why, but that amuses me)

Frankly, I just didn’t have the energy to deal with her yesterday in addition to all the stress I was already under. I was so exhausted from the ordeal that I fell asleep while playing with Button on the floor. I didn’t need her telling me how concerned she was that Button wasn’t getting proper care and was being neglected.

Nor did I need my mother in law suspecting that this was no accident, and that our nanny is really a child abuser. Fortunately, that one got filtered through J.

Mom showed up today fully expecting Button’s face to be black and blue with dried blood in her hair. She did calm down once she saw that her baby wasn’t mortally wounded or brain damaged. But I did receive one of those emails this morning, in which she expressed her concern about negligence and Button’s health. Usually J’s mom is the one that sends the dreaded email, but not today.

I’m relatively short-tempered today, so she got a Corporate Blow-Off for a reply. The cold and distant “Thank you for your opinion, we will keep that in mind” message that really means “I just permanently deleted your email.”

I guess you could say I’m indignant. That would be a true statement, I suppose. There are just some things that are NOT HELPFUL and just add extra stress and it bugs me when people act like that after the fact. Where was all the helpful advice BEFORE this happened. What, Mom? You didn’t see it coming either???

Well imagine that.

This probably should have made it into the 6 weird things post, but I hate swallowing pills. It’s not that I’m afraid of them, or that I CAN’T swallow them. I just don’t like it.

Consequently, I take two chewable Flintstones vitamins every morning.

I’m also anemic. So when I was roaming the vitamins aisle yesterday and saw “Flintstones Vitamins: WITH IRON,” I immediately picked up a couple of bottles. See, in addition to hating pill-swallowing, I also have a daily maximum of pills, medicines and vitamins that I can convince myself to take (I know, I’m starting to sound like a real mental case). That daily limit right now has reached capacity with my Flintstones and birth control, so for whatever reason, taking my iron pills just doesn’t happen.

When I got home, I compared the new Iron chewables with the regular vitamins I had previously been taking (you know, I didn’t want to overdose on iron or anything) and found much to my shock and horror that Flintstones WITH IRON actually have LESS iron than the regular Flintstones I had been taking.

J says I have fallen victim to a marketing scheme. I say I have been lied to and now I am vexed. And the fact that they have added a new flavor (Wilma now comes in blueberry) makes no advance in my consolation.