I love Christmas music. I really do. I know, I know, you and all your friends, your neighbors and your dog hate it. I swear, it is such a fashion statement to hate Christmas music these days. Everybody’s doing it. It even comes in 3 flavors: “I hate Christmas music played before December 25th,” “I hate Christmas music,” and “I hate Christmas.”

There’s a station here that plays nothing but Christmas music 24/7, which I think is great because I can hear it whenever I want to…except that evidently somebody broke into their office and stole all their music because they play the same 5 songs over and over again. And they’re not GOOD songs - they’re just random Christmas songs that for some reason they think everybody wants to hear 5 million times a day. So I’ve made a list of the songs that make me want to throw something every time I hear them:

• A Wonderful Christmas Time (Paul McCartney) - Ok, what? Is it, like, mandatory to be obsessed with anything remotely related to the Beatles? Because personally, Paul just doesn’t do it for me and I am so sick of hearing this song EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I turn on the radio.
• I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause - I hate this song because I was a slow child and didn’t understand that “Santa” in the song was really “Daddy” - ha ha, mixed identity joke. I DID understand, however, that cheating on one’s spouse was really really really bad and wrong and that after the kid’s parents got divorced and he grew up in a broken home with visitation on weekends, he would have confused ideas about love and be jaded about marriage because Mommy couldn’t keep her hands off the old guy in the chimney long enough to set an example about fidelity.
• Merry Christmas Darling (Vanessa Williams) - This song makes my eye twitch every time I hear “I wish I were with you.” GAH. WAS. I wish I WAS with you. Die, prescriptive grammar, die. This is not Latin; you should not base all your rules for one language on another, especially one that is no longer spoken.
• EDITED TO ADD: I thought of one more. Last Christmas (Wham) - Pardon my French, but what a dumbass. For those unfamiliar with the stupidity of this song, he told some chick a year ago that he was in love with her - they knew each other so well that she doesn’t even recognize him now. He’s still obsessed with her, to the point that he’s singing a love song to her, despite the fact that he has supposedly found true love with a mysterious “someone special” who doesn’t even get dignified with a name. Loser.

I was listening to the radio a few days ago and realized a few seconds after hearing it that the station had not bleeped out the “f” word in the song.

I’m not sure if that was unintentional (seems hard to miss) or if the laws regarding swearing in song lyrics on public stations have changed, but it did get me thinking.

My generation is significantly less sensitized to such words than the generation before me.  I read multiple instances of every imaginable variation of “fuck” in blocks every day and just sort of pass over it without even noticing.  And I’m very aware that younger generations are more and more exposed to that kind of language, as I find myself shocked to overhear young children using words that my mother would have slapped me silly for.

So it appears that the verbage we were instructed never, never to let pass our lips on pain of death and sure passage to hell is becoming less and less offensive to each generation.

And what makes a word “offensive” anyway?  It’s certainly not the meaning.  I can talk about poop to any mommy on the block, but refrain from using the word “shit” in most company.

It’s not the usage of the word that makes it offensive.  Nobody bats an eye when a four year old yells “Oh fiddlesticks!” (that’s a southern phrase, for you who are wondering what nonsense I just typed). But that same child would have his mouth washed out by substituting a shorter word.

So what is it that gives curse words their significance?  I guess it’s nothing more than the culture.  I generally refrain from using the words, not because I think the devil will claim my soul should I utter one, but out of respect for those around me who might still be offended by them.

But as previously mentioned, the culture is changing.  Which leads me to wonder if we will eventually have a society in which there are no “forbidden” words…or will some numnuts start making up new words and labeling them as profane?  Who knows.  Personally, I hope for the former.  I think it would be an improvement if everybody could use all the words they wanted to without being considered offensive.

I’m speaking strictly of curse words here.  I know there will always be ways to make vocabulary offensive in tone and context, but I’m just speaking of words that are offensive because they are words.

But I do hope for a world without profanity because really, I think that the whole idea of “no-no” words is kind of stupid.

OK, three questions…

1. What the hell was “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” doing at the Oscars?
2. Crash won best picture…Are you kidding me?
3. Could Reece Witherspoon be any cuter?

It’s official. K-Fed has bombed in his new attempt to mooch off his wife’s fame. Oh, and to all those wondering, because I know there are at least 3 of you, “PopoZao” is Brazillian for Big Ass. Obviously, a self-titled song.