I love it when things work out exactly the way I hoped they would. Even though it was a major pain, the last minute problem with the appraisal turned out to be in our favor because the relocation company (in record-breaking decision-making time) just decided to drop the price on the house. So now we’re getting the same great house for less money and hopefully we’ll still be able to close on time. We won’t know until the last minute, but we’re keeping our fingers crossed.

And in other news, I was sitting at my computer when I started hearing these strangely suspicious popping noises coming from the living room…

It has now been confirmed that the innate obsession with popping bubble wrap has nothing to do with learned behavior and can only be instinctual.

Caught!

• I hurt myself from yawning too big.  I think I overstretched the tendon that connects my jaws or something.  I know.  I’m now in competition with Sammy Sosa for lamest injuries.  I wonder if Workers Comp covers that kind of thing.  It was the boredom brought on by my job that forced me to yawn, after all.
• I dreamed that I had an affair.  With J.  No idea who I was actually married to in the dream.  But J’s conscience got the best of him at the last second and he backed out on me.  So I woke up guilty, bummed, grumpy, and horny.  I hate dreams.
• After 4 years, my dog has just discovered that he has a penis.  He has been licking it for 48 hours straight.  It’s driving us crazy, especially since he sleeps in our room and he’s decided that licking himself is more fun than sleeping.
• Don’t buy hair dye that costs less than $10.  Especially if you use white towels and don’t want to see it bleeding onto your towel 4 days after you’ve colored your hair.  Just saying.
• Also, don’t believe the stuff on the box of cheap hair dye that says it comes with highlights and lowlights and multi-faceted color that doesn’t damage your hair.  Bollocks.
• Tomorrow we close on the house we’re selling.
• Tomorrow we’re supposed to close on the house we’re buying.
• Yesterday we found out that the house didn’t appraise for near what we had agreed to pay for it, so now our financing is messed up.
• The appraiser totally discounted the sunroom, which would have made up the difference in the appraisal price.  He refused to count it as part of the square footage of the house (as a previous appraiser had done) because it didn’t have duct work or something.  But since nobody else in the neighborhood has a sunroom, he couldn’t find “comps” so he just didn’t give it any value at all.
• Because, you know, if nobody else has one then it must have been free to install.
• Apparently if you can’t find one just like it then it’s easier just to pretend it doesn’t exist at all than to do some more research and assign a value based on an educated guess.
• Lazy ass.
• So we’ve asked the relocation company to lower the price on the house because it doesn’t make much sense to pay more than a house is actually worth.
• But it’s a relocation company and it will probably take them a week to get back to us because when you have 150 middlemen, things don’t move too quickly.
• And we don’t know what they’re going to say.
• So we don’t know if or when we’ll be closing.
• Annoying, since we’re supposed to move out of our house in 2 days.
• Regardless, we have to disassemble and pack up our computer tonight or tomorrow, so I’ll probably be offline for a few days.
• Bummer dude.

So we drove out to the lender’s office only to find out that the power was out in their building.  We had a nice chat, but didn’t get anything substantial out of it because he was unable to pull up any documents on the computer or crunch any numbers.  We left without any more information than we came with, although I will say that I thought the meeting went better than expected.

He doesn’t strike me as the condescending, sleazy salesman that for some reason I envisioned.  He’s more of the jolly, effeminate high school band nerd type.  Nice guy.

One thing I have learned about myself over the years is NOT to trust my instincts.  That sixth sense thing that women are supposed to have totally skipped over me.  I have the intuition of a dead frog.

So anyway, the power remained off in their building for the remainder of the day, but late last night he was able to email us the good faith estimate, so we could compare apples to apples.

And it looks like it’s going to be doable.  Which means I’m happy because we get a house and happy that this particular waiting game has ended.

…Now we get to start the 6 or 7 months of waiting for the house to get finished.

It never ends.