Can it really be Wednesday already?  How on earth did that happen?  Oh yeah, we were in Hawaii on Monday and got back yesterday morning.  That’ll do it.

We spent about 8 days in Hawaii and it was wonderful.  For all my bitching and moaning and dreading the trip, Button did wonderfully.  Like seriously, she COULD NOT have been better.

She was happy and pleasant during the uber-long flight there, and really enjoyed a few hours of Diego on our New! Magnavox! Portable! DVD Player!  which is the BEST. INVESTMENT. EVER.  4 hours of battery life, people.  I even got to READ.  As in, a book for ME.  And THEN, on the flight back, she slept for 6 of the 7 hours.

God bless that child.

We were supposed to be there for only 4 days, but there was that big old fiasco with ATA and American Airlines spontaneously canceling all their flights, and even though our flight wasn’t canceled, it was really overbooked as a result of all the other canceled flights.

So we thought, “Let’s see… we could pack our bags, check out of the hotel, drive to the airport, wait forever to see if we still get to get on the plane,  possibly get kicked off anyway and put up in some Motel 6 to await the ‘next available flight’ … Or we could just call the airline and reschedule our departure and stay in Paradise for a few more days.”

Tough decision.

But I have to admit, our bank account (er… credit card) is feeling the pain right about now.

The trip was wonderful though.  We haven’t taken a relaxing vacation since our honeymoon, almost 7 years ago.  I have this thing about being “productive” on vacations.  For some reason, I feel that if we’re taking time off and spending a bunch of money, we need to accomplish something, like seeing the Great Wall of China or Vatican City or something.  Which is all fine and good, but I learned this last week to value a trip in which the point is to do nothing.

I hope to put some pictures up soon.

Almost a month ago, we spent the weekend in London. What, I forgot to mention that? Yeah, I know. I’ve been busy.

J planned a surprise trip for my birthday as sort of a last hurrah before we have two kids and never never ever get to travel ever again because I’m convinced that grandparents would be completely unable to handle two of our kids for more than a 24 our time period. OH, THE ENERGY. What I would do for that kind of energy, especially right now.

We arrived in London on a Saturday morning on no sleep, and spent the day walking around and squeezing as much as we could in the short time we were there.

We had the fortunate experience of traveling with our friends, a couple who had never been to London before. We had a great time showing them around, and having traveling companions made an enjoyable trip even more fun.

We stayed at the Andaz hotel, which is a new concept in hotels, and has only been around since about September 2007. There’s no check-in desk - when you walk through the door you get your own “concierge” who checks you in, gives you a tour of the room, and serves you drinks while you wait.

By the way, a little tip for anyone considering such a trip - the Andaz’ published rates are equivalent to like $8 billion per night - but if you call up and say you’re planning a special trip for your pregnant wife, and can they cut you a break, they’ll slash the price for you. It really wasn’t that bad of a deal.

The hotel had little bowls of fresh plums everywhere. They were delicious! And they have complementary breakfast (menu - not buffet) which is wonderful … especially since otherwise it’s the equivalent of $50 per person.

Our first stop was St. Paul’s Cathedral. We were unable to take pictures inside the cathedral, but we climbed all the way to the top and got a great view of the city.

I’m considering that climb to be my greatest accomplishment during the trip. My leg muscles were sore for days. I slowed everybody down, but I made it. The others didn’t complain too much when I used the “climbing for two” excuse.

After St. Paul’s, we went to Lord of the Rings, the musical. Technically, it was phenomenal. It was all the show that money could buy. The script itself was more like a recap of the movies than an actual story by itself. They had to squeeze so much into 3 hours that if you haven’t seen the movies or read the books you’d probably be pretty lost. And the guy that plays Pippin is just plain annoying. But visually, it was fascinating to watch.

After the show, we took an evening stroll along the Thames.

I just love London at night.

During our stroll, we stopped for dinner to enjoy some genuine British “fish & chips.” The waiter put the plate down and in front of me was the biggest slab of fried fish I have ever seen.

And I at the whole thing. Without even realizing it. Apparently I worked up quite the appetite climbing to the top of St. Paul.

After dinner, we went to the Tutankhamen Exhibit at the O2 Arena. It’s coming to Dallas in the fall, so if you’re around here I strongly encourage you to see it when the time comes.

On Day 2, we headed over to the Tower of London to see the Armory, the Crown Jewels, and whatever else we could fit into the hour we had at our disposal before the flight back.

The White Tower inside the Tower of London.

We then returned to our hotel, checked out, met our driver and began the hour-and-a-half drive to the airport.

And missed our flight.

Public Service Announcement: FYI, American Airlines at Gatwick Airport has its own security that you have to go through IN ADDITION TO regular airport security. So if you arrive at the airport 5 minutes after the security guys have gone home (!!!) you will not be allowed to check in and board your flight.

Also, there’s only one flight per day to the States out of Gatwick.

Also, it costs $260 PER PERSON to change your flight, plus the shuttle fare to Heathrow Airport where the later flights are.

Also, there are no more direct flights to Dallas, so you have to be routed through Chicago.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by the Association of Exhausted and Sleep Deprived Travelers Who Obviously Needed to Waste Some More Time Attempting to Return to the Comfort of Home.

Fabulous.

So the flight back was an adventure… But perhaps it was good that we were so exhausted because we had reached the point of sleepless insanity where you can’t do anything but laugh in the face of ridiculous inconvenience.

We made it back to our house about 1am (which was 7am London Time), having been awake for yet another 24 hours.

Bed has never felt so good.

In the future, perhaps we will try to spend more time at our destination than on the plane, but overall this was a really fun trip and we’re glad we took the weekend to go. Especially since it will probably be the last time we can travel internationally for a long time.

Well, the guy that we’re trying to by the house from is being an ass about it.  He wants his asking price and not a penny less and he’s totally playing hardball, which sucks.

But I don’t really care right now because I’M IN NEW YORK!  See you when I get back!

Dear Guy In Front of Me on the Plane Who My Daughter Affectionately Dubbed “Bee-bo Head,”

Apparently your cowlick reminds her of a belly button, and as we all know, belly buttons have no other purpose than to be poked. Repeatedly.Thank you for being a hard sleeper.

Sincerely,
I swear I didn’t know she was going to do that.

Dear Man in the Airport Who Tripped Over My Daughter,

The short people in the world request that you refrain from walking backwards through a crowded building without watching where you are going. Thank you.

Sincerely,
She’s fine. But what were you thinking?

Dear Everybody on the Plane Who Sat Up and Turned Around to Stare When My Daughter Screamed Bloody Murder From the Back of the Plane,

We didn’t drop her. It’s 2 hours past her bedtime and J was trying to give me a break with the “standing up and holding her” shift. Obviously it didn’t go over very well.

Sincerely,
That Parent. The one wishing she could melt into the floor right now.

Dear Old Woman on the Plane Who Kept Distracting My Child From Her Tantrum by Making Faces and Telling Her She Was Too Sweet to be Making That Kind of a Fuss,

Bless you.

Sincerely,
This Close to a Nervous Breakdown

I know.  You didn’t know I was gone.  Because I didn’t tell you.  Because I’m busy and negligent like that.

We took a weekend trip to Seattle to see the inlaws and grandparents.  The trip was great fun.  The plane rides were not.  More on that later.

But the best part is that we are childless for the week!  That sounds terrible.  Like we couldn’t wait to get rid of her.  But I will confess to jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store when I finally got out of bed this morning (at 10:30!!!) and realized that my day was entirely at my disposal - MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!

LB is staying with her grandparents for the week and though we will miss her terribly, I think I really did need a break.  She’s been waking up entirely too early and been very MAMA-MAMA-MAMA-MAMA and sort of whiny lately and I HATE The Whiny.  It is beyond my parenting faculties to put up with The Whiny.  There is nothing about parenting that makes me want to walk off the nearest cliff like The Whiny.

I could tell that my temper was shortening by the end of our trip when we couldn’t have a dinner out without her throwing food everywhere and squealing at the top of her lungs, and then throwing a fit when she had to sit in the highchair and then sliding down and getting stuck in the highchair and then having a nervous breakdown because she was stuck in the highchair and we couldn’t get her out fast enough.  There’s only so much I can take and my fuse was cut pretty short.

Tonight we’re going to go this place called a “Theater” and we’re going to watch this thing called a “movie.”  It’s where you sit in these big chairs and watch a huge television that plays something other than Bob the Builder or Veggie Tales.  Did you know they made those?  And they bring you food and drinks (God bless Studio Movie Grill) whenever you want.  And there are no children around.  And you can get in for free with COUPONS which we happen to have a ton of and which expire this month so this will officially be Movie Marathon Week.

Honestly, I don’t know what we did all the time before we had LB.  I worked a lot more, and we saw a lot more movies.  But that still doesn’t seem like it would fill all the time.

Anyway, now I’m working on catching up with emails and comments and templates and blog reading.

BECAUSE I CAN…