I dreamed last night that my husband’s family gave me a horse for my birthday. And I couldn’t ride it because I didn’t have a saddle.

Duh.

Cruadhlaoich
Damhnait
Eibhlhin
Fachnan
Fainche
Faoiltiama
Fardoragh
Finella
Fionnghuala
Fogartaigh
Fynballa
Gilda
Giolla Chroist
Gormghlaith
Grioghar
Gubnat
Izett
Jarlath
Kinsella
Labhaoise

To all the parents in the world, please don’t give your children names that resemble curse words or bodily functions.

There are some really cool celtic baby names. And there are also some really NOT cool celtic baby names. So many that I decided to make a list of the 100 Worst Celtic Baby Names (yeah, it’s a little bit slow at work today).

Below are the first 20 in the set:

Addergoole
Aderrig
Adhamh
Alastriona
Amblaoibh
Aodhfin
Aoibheann
Bairrfhoinn
Ballindeny
Beartlaidh
Beolagh
Brandubh
Buagh
Cacanisius
Calbhach
Ceallachan
Cearbhall
Ciatlllait (yes, 3 l’s)
Coillcumhann
Crohoore

The fact that I have the most boring name on earth is not my parents’ fault. Because I was born with a cleft palate, I couldn’t pronounce things like Shakira or Monty Python. Therefore, they were force to give me a simple name that wouldn’t come out of my mouth mangled and limping during the early years.

You can’t get much simpler than Amy.

The downside of course, is the fact that I’ve spent my whole life making people specify whether they were talking to me or one of the other six Amy’s in the room. And though I never had a problem with people mispronouncing my first name, with my maiden name, I was still subject to instructing people how to spell and say my name in public, and therefore can claim no time-saving benefits.

Though I have to admit, my maiden name makes a great call-screening device. You know that someone who completely butchers it probably wants to sell you something.

Anyway, we’re hoping to avoid the common name issues with this child. Our last name, while not a Smith, is easily spelled enough to prevent verbal mangling on first reading. One down, just one name to go. So we put our heads together and came up with a list of names for boys and girls that would be easy enough to pronounce, but would not have six heads turning to answer “what?”

Here’s our list so far, in no particular order, with pronunciation guides attached (insert “oooh-ahhh” here). If you can’t tell, we’re going with the celtic name theme. And yes, we’re aware that they all sound the same. Hey, at least we know what we like.

BOY
Kegan (KEE-gen)
Aedan (A-den)
Toran (TOR-en)
Eghan (EE-gon)
Kieran (KEE-ron)
Teagan (TEE-gen)
Eann (EE-an, like Ian)
Tristan (TRIST-on)
Braydon (BRAY-don)
Arden (AR-den)

GIRL
Keelin (KEE-lin)
Arlyn (AR-lin)
Ceara (kee-AR-ah)
Eavan (EE-van)
Rylee (RI-lee)
Kellen (KELL-en)
Tierney (TEER-nee)
Haley (HAY-lee)
Kailyn (KAY-lin)
Eimile (EM-i-lee)

You should see some of the celtic names we’ve found. I really think somebody dumped over a scrabble board and started picking letters up one-by-one to make some of these names. For instance, who in their right mind would name their kid Eamnonn? Or Eideard? Or Findabhair???

Yeah, this is going to be one of those pregnancy status posts. There will probably be a lot of these in the next several months so DEAL WITH IT. And after that, there will probably be a lot of baby posts because this is a blog about MY LIFE and I hear babies have a way of TAKING OVER YOUR LIFE.

I discovered something very comforting yesterday. Apparently it’s quite common for women to experience bloating and a “shifting” of the internal organs between 6-8 weeks of pregnancy, which results in a swelling of the stomach area.

And I just thought I was getting overly fat. Technically, I shouldn’t be showing for another few months, but I have noticed a marked increase in the size of my belly over the past few days… which led to a nervous self-consciousness, especially since I’ve been walking a lot recently and haven’t been consuming more food than normal. I think I have a phobia of becoming one of those women who gain 100 pounds during pregnancy (ugh!) and as a result have an enormous diabetic baby and can’t lose the weight after birth. Yikes.

The pregnancy advice and information websites warn against putting on too much weight during pregnancy because it’s harmful to the baby. Of course they also say not to diet because that’s harmful to the baby. So unless God himself keeps me skinny, this kid’s pretty much screwed either way.

Anyway, the news that I’m not a freak (at least not physically) especially came as a relief to J. Try as he might, men are just not equipped with any adequate defense for the “I’M FAT” panic attack.