Actually, that’s not true.  It was almost 80 degrees today.  But for some reason I’m anticipating the Christmas Season early this year.  I could skip right past Thanksgiving and go straight into December without a second thought about it.

Do you think November is too early for a Christmas Blog Template?  Seriously, I want to know.  Because mine is done and I don’t have a Thanksgiving template.  J is adamant that Christmas Season doesn’t start until after his birthday, which is after Thanksgiving.  Would you hate me if I celebrated Christmas for 2 months???

The drive-up ATMs at my bank have audio outlets to cater to all the blind drivers in my area.  All the blind drivers that happen to carry a spare set of earphones in their cars.

I’m being anti-social tonight. My brother and his wife are hosting a BYOB Costume Poker Party and I’m not going.

J is there now. But I don’t have any beer. Or a costume. Or any interest in poker. So I’m not there. I’ve been a little down today. So I’m not feeling particularly social.

I have ideals. Perhaps it’s the result of a fairly sheltered childhood. While the world has made me jaded on many things, I remain quite the idealist in most regards. When my ideals are challenged, I will hang on until the bitter end, refusing to flit about like a leaf in the wind based on an accusation or piece of evidence that is probably far from accurate.

Some might call it loyalty.

Refusing to lay down my ideals until I have weighed the facts and all of the facts and can draw no other conclusion than the resignation that these notions were… just ideas. Fiction.

Poof.

And every time that happens, a layer of my perception of the world is peeled away. Every time that happens, it cuts a little deeper. It hurts. And when it’s done hurting, it scars.

And I suppose wisdom is the culmination of the scars. Wisdom is jaded.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it.

I’m going to really have to start watching what I say and do in front of Button. She’s getting too smart for my own good. Last night she was playing with her shoes while I made a mess in her room (sifting through clothes to resell) and just on a whim I said, “Button, that’s you’re shoe. SHOE. Can you put it in the BUCKET?”

And she did.

She walked over to the bucket and dropped the shoe in. WHERE DID SHE LEARN THAT? I didn’t teach it to her. She just…KNEW what a bucket was, and how to put something in it.

Today she was holding a circular block that’s part of a Winnie the Pooh-mobile. I said, “Button, that’s the ORANGE. CIRCLE. Do you know where it goes?” And before I could ramble on with “Let’s go put the ORANGE. CIRCLE. where it goes,” she had walked over to the Pooh-mobile and inserted the block into its specifically shaped hole.

The child, she is psychic. The mother, she is baffled.

I am a very methodical person, sometimes excessively so. Which is why, when I have three tasks to complete in a day, I end the day having finished none of them. Because I’ve spent a significant amount of my day contemplating the most efficient way to go about each task so that I can synchronize its accomplishment with each other task. Obviously, I’m having to rethink my approach.

But basically, once I get around to doing something, I have figured out the most efficient, effective and beneficial way to do it, thus ensuring that not only am I doing it the right way, I am doing it the rightest way.

Which means, by default, that if you are doing said task a different way, that you are unavoidably doing it the wrong way. Don’t be offended, just go with it.

That said, I would like to offer the following assistance:

• Electrical outlet covers are not symmetrical. It is possible to put them in upside-down, which is inadvisable. Upside-down outlet covers do not completely cover the outlet. In addition, they are easier to pry out of position by little curious fingers. And they look stupid.
• It is possible (and recommended) to affix a DHL label to the monthly shipment boxes so that only one edge-fold is required. Applying labels in this manner is faster and easier, as well as more helpful to the DHL guy who has to scan them. Folding labels over two perpendicular edges, and subsequently having to mash down the excess label paper into a wrinkled lump at the bottom corner is inefficient, time consuming and unnecessary. And it looks stupid.
• Formula bottles come with a seal-cutter in the cap. It is a good idea to use said seal-cutter to open the bottle, as it CUTS the SEAL, thereby allowing it to be cleanly removed from the bottle. Punching in the seal with your knuckle and leaving the partially-attached seal hanging inside the opening of the bottle makes the formula pour out of the bottle in all directions - sometimes missing the destination container completely. It is not a pleasant surprise to the unsuspecting bottle preparer. And it looks stupid.
• Tailing me and then buzzing around in a huff doesn’t actually help you get to your destination any faster. You still have to wait at the red light like everybody else. You just get to wait there longer. And you look stupid.

Thank you for joining me for another edition of unsolicited helpful advice. See, I told you I could make your life better.