Just an FYI in case any of you are looking into getting health insurance. Do not deal with Design Benefits Incorporated (aka Design Savers Plan). I don’t know if their employees are scam artists or just completely inept. Frankly, I don’t care. I’m out $250 (and we all know that money isn’t exactly flowing out of the trees around here) because everything they’ve told me has been completely incorrect.

• They told me my bank account would not be debited until I had reviewed and accepted the policy. It was debited before I even RECEIVED the policy to review.
• The total amount debited from my account was significantly higher than the amount/s disclosed to me.
• I canceled the policy immediately upon finding out that I had been misled and was told I would be receiving a full refund. I went over the amounts debited from my account with the account rep, and she assured me I would be fully refunded for everything taken out. She even got snippy with me when I asked her repeatedly to verify that I was due a full refund.
• Two weeks later, no refund had arrived. I called again and spoke with the same woman. She assured me that the policy had been canceled and that it takes a month for them to cut a check.
• It has been well over a month and no check has arrived. Today I find that another monthly premium was debited from my account.
• I call the company, and am told that I had been enrolled in TWO insurance plans, and they only canceled one of them. In order to cancel the other (more expensive) one, I was supposed to notify a different company in writing. NOBODY EVER TOLD ME THIS. The girl I talked to originally made no mention of this, either of the two times I called. She told me everything would be taken care of.
• The second company is claiming it’s not their mistake since they were not notified. So they still have my money.
• It’s an ACH debit (that’s the only way they do business - now I know why) so I have no recourse through Visa/MC/Amex.

So now I have no money and 2 months of benefits that I never used because I thought they were canceled.

Bastards.

Want more proof? Take a look at their BBB record:

On January 19, 2006 this company’s membership in the BBB was revoked by the BBB’s Board of Directors due to failure to eliminate the underlying cause of complaints on file with the BBB.

My suggestion: Never let anyone take your insurance application over the phone. Get everything in writing. There’s apparently no regulation on what they can tell you over the phone, even if it’s in direct contrast to what the paperwork says.

This is the first year that I haven’t had a full-time job - ergo, this is the first year that I have zero money for Christmas.

Therefore I’m starting a new attempt to raise some money so I don’t have to give Button a cardboard box for Christmas.

Not that she wouldn’t be thrilled with a cardboard box. But J wouldn’t care for one. His tastes are a bit more…complex. Grownups are weird like that.

So anyway, I’m selling premade WordPress Themes. …Or rather, I’m giving away premade WordPress Themes in exchange for a donation to the Button’s Family Christmas Fund. Any takers?

CLICK HERE FOR AVAILABLE WORDPRESS THEMES

• We went gift shopping this morning and about 10 seconds after we left the store I looked down to find that Button, while in her stroller, had managed to apply the 5-finger-discount to a pack of AA batteries. The sad part is, while we were returning the batteries to the store owner I was thinking, “I could have used those batteries.”
• I need a new camera. I need a new camera that won’t freeze at the most inconvenient moments, forcing me to forgo the photos completely to take the batteries out and reboot it. I need a camera that will take a friggin’ picture when I tell it to, rather than politely declining my request with the suggestion that we discuss it over coffee. And I need a camera that has SOME SEMBLANCE OF A CLUE about white balance and color accuracy. I need this camera.
• Unfortunately, one of the downsides about working part time is the complete and total lack of savable monies for things like Christmas presents and aforementioned camera necessities.
• Perhaps I should just send my daughter into the camera store and see what she comes out with.
• Button woke up from her nap today exceedingly displeased. As soon as I entered her room, I could see smell why. During her lunch, she had consumed 3 drink boxes of juice and a hearty amount of food - all of which had made its way through her during the nap. The clothes, the sheets, the changing table cover - all of it went straight into the wash.
  

  J:    You should probably put some bleach in there too to kill any of the germs.
  Me: I used Spray’N'Wash.
  J:    I doubt Spray’N'Wash kills germs.
  Me: Are you kidding? Have you ever smelled Spray’N'Wash?
  J:    …Good point. That stuff could probably kill a small animal.

If I am ever in any kind of an actual emergency situation, I pray to God that my mother is not present.

Tonight Button was sitting with my dad in a reclining chair. He sat up and as the chair de-reclined, her foot got caught between the cushion and the base of the chair.

She started crying - as babies do when things hurt. And my mother dropped whatever she was doing in the kitchen to rush over and…comfort…the situation.

“TOMMY, WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU DO?”

“Her foot got caught here when I sat up”

“OH MY GOSH! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!”

Meanwhile, I am holding my crying baby, trying to calm her, which is difficult to do with all the tension going on in the background. I can’t imagine how her foot could be broken from that kind of situation, but I check anyway. She can move it just fine, it’s a little flushed. It doesn’t seem to bother her when I squeeze on it or rotate it.

“IS IT BROKEN? SHE COULD BE DAMAGED FOR LIFE! I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS COULD HAPPEN, SHE HASN’T HAD ANY TROUBLE ALL DAY AND YOU HAVE HER FOR FIVE MINUTES AND THIS HAPPENS! I KEEP HER ALL THE TIME AND SHE NEVER GETS INJURED. I JUST CAN’T UNDERSTAND IT TOMMY!”

“Well do you think I did it on purpose?”

“Mom, I think she’s going to be fine. It just hurts but it’s not broken or anything.”

“IT’S SWELLING, I CAN SEE THE SWELLING! WILL SHE LET US PUT AN ICE PACK ON IT?”

“Probably not.”

She runs to get a pack of frozen vegetables. Button refuses to have a pack of frozen vegetables on her ankle, but is content to play with them. She has stopped crying and has developed an interest in a slice of tomato she sees on the counter.

My mom positions her ankles.

“I’M COMPARING. IT’S SWOLLEN. SHOULD WE HAVE IT X-RAYED???”

“Mom, it’s not broken. She’s fine. If she was really injured, she would not be this distracted by a tomato.” Button is currently munching happily on the tomato.

So my dad feels like he’s been publicly flogged, I am looking for my red sparkly shoes so I can wish myself home, and my SIL has observed the scene and is wondering what the time limit is on having a marriage annulled due to family instability.

I sometimes wonder how I survived my teenage years.

Just because I’m finally getting around to pulling the Halloween pics off my mom’s camera.