Archive for May, 2007

I’m considering checking for a pulse.

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

I’m not sure how this happened, but somebody has taken my daughter and replaced her with She Who Willingly Naps For Three Hours. Without drugs.

Wake up, child.

And on a side note, why does it seem to be a requirement that air conditioners break at the beginning of EVERY summer? American Home Shield is probably ruing the day they ever offered us a home warranty.

Counting (Video)

Sunday, May 20th, 2007

Also known as lazy blogging…
I always sound like such a dork in these videos. I hope that’s not what I sound like in real life.
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I Think It’s Time…

Sunday, May 20th, 2007

I think my husband and I need to have sex tonight.

Sometimes he has these dreams in which I’m a total bitch. And my bitchiness quotient correlates precisely with how long it’s been since we’ve had sex.

In his past dreams, I’ve told him he’s a loser, I’ve ignored him, I’ve been hateful, and I’ve made executive decisions that ensure he gets the raw end of the deal.

Last night he dreamed that I told him I was never sleeping with him again because his penis size was inadequate.

Has it really been that long?

Hi Hi Hi (Video)

Saturday, May 19th, 2007

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It Hurts So Good

Thursday, May 17th, 2007

I joined a gym recently because it’s been warming up around here and I can’t get up the motivation to go walking outside if I know I’m going to be miserable in the heat and humidity.

As part of the membership, gyms always give you one free personal training session. I’ve never had a “real” personal training session before. When I lived in Seattle I joined 24 hour fitness and my “free hour” of personal training took 20 minutes. The guy took a bunch of measurements, pinched my stomach with that big plastic tweezer thingie, told me I needed to lose 20 pounds, and informed me that unless I signed up for a Personal Training Package, there wasn’t anything else he could do for me.

At that point, I weighed less than I do now. I could have done well to lose up to 10 pounds, but 20 pounds would have put me in the unhealthy range of body fat percentage. I wasn’t aiming to pull a Mary Kate Olsen.

Today was a totally different story. My personal trainer rocked. And tomorrow my abs are going to be killing me. And I didn’t even have to do any floor crunches.

I hate crunches.

Hate them.

As evidenced by my current state, I would rather have flabby abs than do crunches.

But I learned today that I could strengthen my abs AND avoid crunches!

So now I totally want a personal trainer, but all I could think about while he was going over the “package” options with me was “I would have to sell like 20 blog templates to pay for that.”

So it’s not in my future for the time being. But a girl can dream.

PS…I’m sorry I’ve been slack on responding to your comments. I usually try to respond personally to each and every comment because I really appreciate the fact that you guys take your time to read and interact with me through this website. But lately I’ve been sort of sucking at the internet in general. Trying to get my butt back in gear (figuratively…though my literal butt is getting some work too).