So Tomorrow’s the big day.  I go in at 7:30am for the induction and (hopefully) shortly thereafter Munchkin #2 will make his appearance.

Still haven’t come up with a proper nickname for him, which is problematic both for this blog and real life.  We actually do call Little Button by her nickname in real life, and for some reason we feel compelled to come up with a comparable nickname for Spawn 2.  Any suggestions?

I woke my doctor up last night, convinced that I was going to have to go in earlier than the scheduled date.  Contractions 15 minutes apart and and all that jazz.  She told me to come in to the hospital when the contractions got down to 10 minutes apart.

They never did.  In fact, as the night progressed, they got further and further apart, until this morning when they were almost nonexistent.   How disappointing.  If I’m going to have a sleepless night, I think I should at least get a baby out of it.

So we’re still on schedule for tomorrow.  Contractions and baby movement are still happening, just very sporadically (drums fingers on desk).

Dear CVS,

I am not by any means a militant environmentalist. I recycle only when convenient, and use entirely too many paper towels. But even I must draw a line between a moderate amount of waste, and the absurd.

Let’s talk receipts. Today I stopped in your store to purchase one item, and was handed a receipt well over 2 feet long. Which I promptly threw in the trash recycling bin once I got home.

Two feet of paper to prove I purchased a single item. Doesn’t that sound a little ridiculous? I know you like to tack on unnecessary coupons to the end of the receipts but I cannot even imagine how much money your company spends buying and transporting all that paper nationwide. Probably enough to skip the coupons altogether and just lower your prices.

I intend to start shopping at Walgreens when possible, even though it’s further from my house, because I feel like I’m saving an entire tree every time I go there.

* * *

Dear Tom Thumb,

Please see above letter to CVS. Today I shopped in your store and left with over 7 feet of receipt and coupons. All of which immediately went into the trash recycling bin.

Please stop giving me a phonebook’s worth of coupons for items I never buy. If I’m checking out with O Organics Peanut Butter, it does not make sense to give me a coupon for Jiff. It is just a waste of paper.

* * *

Dear Whole Foods,

I just want to say how much I appreciate the fact that even though I buy upwards of $150 of groceries, I still walk away with a receipt no longer than my hand. Printing on the back of the receipt is a brilliant idea and I applaud you for your environmental consciousness. And also for the fact that I can actually fit your receipts in my purse. And thank you for not burdening me with 100 useless coupons every time I check out.

However, you might want to take a lesson from Tom Thumb on the buggy-cart idea. Bringing my two-year-old to shop is a lot easier when she is distracted by the Fun! Buggy! Cart! Being located in the heart of Giant Family-Oriented Suburb, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that there are more than 3 shopping moms in your store at any given time.

Therefore, 3 buggy carts for 45 shopping moms is a rather unsatisfactory ratio. It is exponentially unsatisfactory to a certain two-year-old who has her hopes set on a buggy ride and must settle for a regular shopping cart ride instead. Suddenly the shopping trip becomes much more of an ordeal, especially since - while in a regular shopping cart - her little hands are at the perfect height for reaching out and grabbing things off the fruit stands and other shelves.

Last week a bucket of meringue cookies found their way on to the check-out conveyor belt, which I did not realize until I got home and pulled them out of the bag.  Nobody in my family will eat meringue cookies.

Please take a visit to Tom Thumb to observe their buggy-to-child ratio, as well as their new “TV Cart” buggies, which are very effective at distracting young children, to the point where they actually look forward to grocery shopping.

Just don’t buy anything while you’re there, or you risk depleting a quarter of the rain forest with your receipt.